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Winter Sketchbook

by Paul Riley

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Each individually number and uniquely decorated CD comes in a jewel case that includes handwritten liner notes and background notes on the album. Art design done by Tim Goodier; artwork by Jill Connolly and me.

    First pressing edition: 50 CDs

    Includes unlimited streaming of Winter Sketchbook via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Streaming + Download

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1.
She's wondering what it means to be free of this yellow wallpaper, to go outside, the sunshine nearly blinds as it falls all around her. She knows there must be air out somewhere that could provide a cure but to leave winter's scene only means she must be absolutely sure she can make it on her own alone. Wait until she's had her fill of the pills labcoat men say she can take. They'd be wise to realize that her eyes can see all of their mistakes. Baby blue's ugly hue is a clue that it's now she must escape before this eight pound bliss gives death's kiss to things she'd like to make of herself and her place in the world. Charlotte's searching: what can be found when these four walls have been burned down. There's no reason she should stay here except by force of old Rick's fear. Never have such poor masks been attached with the glue of pure meanness. To pretend that they can all defend forcing her inside the nest. Go inside, spend some time by her side - then say she just needs rest. You have no right - it's not your life under the knife by someone who can only guess what it's like how the other half live. Charlotte's searching: what can be found when these four walls have been burned down. There's no reason she should stay here except by force of old Rick's fear. Charlotte's searching: what can be found when these four walls have been burned down. There's no reason she should stay here except by force of old Rick's fear. So she's getting out of here.
2.
I've been stuck in a roundabout for a few hours now. Where the hell am I gonna go when I don't really know I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I've never seen these things before I moved up north. They seemed really cool on the map, not at all like a trap. No need for a light to guide - should be a simple drive. But in practice, it's trickier. Think it's perfectly clear I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) If I wanna go into town, do I bear right now? Is this the exit that I'll need if I want to see trees? I could go to Hampton Beach - is that exit in reach? Hours of driving round and round, only thing that I've found: I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.) I don't know where to go, I don't know where to go. (He don't know where to go. He don't know where to go.)
3.
Why do major chords get to have all the fun? They're shiny, alive and eager to please. Nobody comes to look at us except when they're sad and everybody wants to be glad. That's what I am, a shitty rhyme, nothing you can expect to find when you are having a good day at work. Why are major chords the ones that get played, The ones your fingers are drawn to with ease? Nobody wants to build a song on gloomy tones, but since you left that's all that we have.
4.
5.
Three men and a baby, now they're sharing a home. Three men and a baby, no longer living alone. A lot easier being a bachelor, just concerned about one. But now that there is a kid involved, things are gonna be fun. Well, actually, it's not a baby. It's a kitty cat. Everybody knows about him; his name is Thad. These three guys and their cat, they'll learn about life. And if they mess up, that's okay - because they've got twelve lives. Three men and a baby, now they're making their way. Three men and a baby, finding some time to play. They're paying their bills and drinking from a dish. Living room lounging, they say, "Don't get better than this."
6.
The Compass, check it out. It's on the Internet, like you. Eight people, sharing art: painting, stories, prose, these tunes. Friday: links to videos and cool things that we've found. Saturday reblogging's for longer things to check out. The Compass is a creator collective, a gathering of eight young artists and writers honing their craft and starting a conversation. It was founded on the belief that creative voices must be heard by others. We offer our work -- our words, our images, our music -- to all of you as a reminder that we all can be creators. The Compass, it's online. If you want to see, type in wethecompass dot tumblr dot com, no E. The Compass, check it out. We're creating art for you.
7.
There's a tree that we planted outside of our grade school playground. It's the only thing alive from that place now that it's closed down. In my eighth grade yearbook you signed, "We should start a band." Playing in your basement, we thought this arrangement would last. When your high school locker became home, did it feel good to hear it, to see it slam closed? You wanted to see what the world had to offer so you walked away from me just as fast you as you could. And when you pretend that the people you left are insignificant, remember that you still remember us. Four years of school to the stage to the car to Sacramento. You haven't come home in five years, but I'm under this tree still wondering when you packed up that day did you keep it? Or did you throw it away? You wanted to see what the world had to offer so you walked away from me just as fast you as you could. And when you pretend that the people you left are insignificant, remember that you still remember us. And you can put the Grand Canyon between us, the Rocky Mountains and the Mississippi River too, but I was there when you heard of those things in a textbook and I ain't a book, you can't close my pages yet.
8.
9.
You locked your car from the curbside. I was holding your hand, then you dropped your cell phone, honey. It got scuffed in the sand. In the winter, it's cold and everyone knows that the sand they cover the roads with is everywhere. We're going to a house party and we'll be going inside soon. Our friends are having a party for me and you. When we enter there's lots of people, lots of friends that we know. Everybody's somewhat intoxicated. Most are taking it slow. Someone looks a little too drunk in the living room. Well, we can go into the kitchen and talk to someone else. We're at a house party now. Conversation while an iPod plays. I look at you smiling, I know we could stay. But then we have to go back outside. Party's over, it's 2 AM - time to drive. When will we get home? I hope it's soon. If we stay in here any longer, it'll be a frigid tomb. We walk inside your house; your roommate is there. She's belting out "Sleepyhead." I try not to stare. How embarrassing when someone hears you celebrating the joyfulness of your favorite tune. Let's make our own house party. We all start to sing and dance; it's 3 AM. I'm so happy that you're with me and I'm so happy that we're at our own house party. La la la la la la la la la.
10.
It was dark when we met, too many people crowding the room. I didn't know anyone. Fell in your eyes as they looked up at me, your phone singing, a choice to make: it's either sadness or euphoria. You took my hand, we walked out the door. It was dark when we met. When I was young, I thought a lot about the things I saw and heard. All seemed to say the same thing: there's nothing worse than being alone. Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe that's why we all go anywhere. Play back those notes, everything falls, your eyes hold everything possible in that song. If life were simple it would be in 4/4 time, the lines that make up our stories, they all would rhyme. I wouldn't be in your bed hearing "Highland Falls." You wouldn't have come up and talked to me at all.

about

This album was conceived, written, recorded and mixed entirely in the month of February. None of these songs were edited or changed after midnight, Eastern Standard time, of March 1, 2012. Some of these songs may be reworked and re-recorded for a future release. This album is a musical moment, capturing my thoughts, feelings and sounds from February 2012. I hope that you enjoy it.

Check out fawm.org for more details.

credits

released June 21, 2012

All words and music by Paul Riley except #4, music by Paul Riley and Jill Connolly, and #7, words by Paul Riley and Stacy Connolly, music by Paul Riley.

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Paul Riley Lowell, Massachusetts

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